Ugh, my days sucks x2.

Just an extra p.p.s., for Lulu,

I'm not going tomorrow. :\ I'm really thinking they hate the idea of me going now. Hm. :\

i'm sorry, Boo. Really, I'm extremely sorry.

My day... sucked kinda.

Last night, it was around 9. I had texted my aunt to see if she was up so we could talk, just cause I had a curious/small question at the time. Her being asleep, I ignored it, and went to sleep at about midnight.
It's 4 Am. Four. Fucking. AM. And my aunt calls me. I immediately hit "end" to ignore it, and turn back over (mind you, for the 4 hours I was asleep, I didn't move once.) 10 minutes after I ignored it, she texted me "i just got your message is everything okay is everything alright"

Hopefully she'll realize it's fucking 4 AM my time and I'm not up at 4 AM, so she'll ignore me. Nope. An hour later, she calls me A FUCKING GAIN after tossing and turning. That bitch. I ignored it, again, not being able to fall aslepe, and she texts me again. I didn't even read the text, in my sleep I texted "kim im fucking tired let me sleep" ugh. That really ticked me off, but whatever. I ended up with no sleep, cause after that I couldn't go back to sleep. I woke up with my whole body just shaking out of control, my stomach just aching in pure pain, my head spinning, over heated, and having a huge headache... My day really sucked. I wanted to stay home, but I refused, so I still went to school. And (go figure) didn't really do much.

So my whole day was just bleh, I near fell asleep in every class and now I have a ton of homework for today which I plan on doing. But after getting home, I managed to figure out everything about my credit card. I don't have to make payments until basically 4 weeks after I use my credit card! And I only get charged $2! yes! :D So i went and bought tons o' food to pig out... but nothing to bring with me in a bottle form... Hm...

So other than that... I won and guessed correctly, so Lulu owes me a huge, gigantor kiss. :)
On top of that, she's extremely confuzzled about my gaming post! :D

So yeah, I'mma go now, and get stuff done. More posts soon!

p.s., brittnee, the special picture is all super bended and stuff and it is my fault... I should've brought a notebook to take it home in it so it wouldn't be... Babe, I'm extremely sorry. I really didn't mean to... it's not completely brokended or anything, but... it's not in the best condition... :( Babe, I'm sorry. Forgive me.

An away message for Lulu,

I sat here for a whole 20 some-odd minutes! It got to 6:05, and I thought "why... why she no call? :|"

I was gonna be all stubborn like I usually am and call you, but I had to stop. Think. What was happening to Brittnee...
After thinking of two situations where it would've been bad in general if I had even tried to contact you, I realized your phone diedz. :)
If I am right, I earned a gigantic kiss on the lips.

Anyway, I understand. It's like 6:10 now, you would've given me SOME sort of "Sorry!" even if it was a text on the way home. It's best I don't contact you in case something gets checked, I think you know what.

You better has a safe drive home... :< Es rush hour.

In any case, other things to note
-I don't know if I'm going to be there Thursday. Our friends don't seem too happy about it.
-The picture you made me is all brokened! :( It's all bended and not cute looking... I wanna buy a frame for it, but I know you forbid me.
-The walk home wasn't all that bad. :D

Any updates I have I'll post tonight, tomorrow mid-day (as soon as I'm home from school) or tell you tomorrow if we talk. Promise.

holy jesus how did i do that!?

So I'm sitting here playing some Super Street Fighter 4 Arcade Edition on my XBAWKZ, and I'm starting to play the scrub character, the character you use when you're on the dark side... Yun. dundudnunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
I'm not amazing with Yun, but I'd like to think I'm better than the average player. For those of you who aren't aware of what this means, there's 39 characters in Street Fighter. It's a 2d fighting game (well 3d, but on a 2d field.) and of these 39 characters, there are some with 'fireballs' that people know them by. In the original versions of the game, the fireball characters were the best and top-tier on a tier list. Now, people like Yun are. Yun is the best character in the game due to what he has, and the only real counter to a Yun? is a Zangief.

Yun: A very short, barely 5-foot-5 chinese kid who jumps around a lot.
[img]http://iplaywinner.com/storage/oneuse/105yun_01.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1287997458231[/img]

Zangief: A gigantic mother fucking russian wrestler who turns people like yun into a playtoy:
[img]http://imacwallpapers.com/wallpapers/GAM123c3668ad3a5254/GAM123c3668ad3a5254_408x230.jpg[/img]

Literally on an in-game scale, it takes almost four yuns to equal a zangief in size.

Anyway, so I'm playing... and I come across a Zangief player. Not only is it a direct counter to me, but It's the 26th ranked zangief player in the world. ...and somehow I BEAT HIM... TWICE.

We played, I won, I pretty much mindfucked him and he didn't even expect it. I ended up getting matched with him AGAIN after I'm running through the house at 10 at night with everyone, screaming "I WON I WON I WON". And yet again, I had won with completely different STRATEGIEZ and stuffz! I got so excited, and he actually sent me a message, saying "wow, first yun i've had trouble with" so freaking excited. And I'm ranked like... the 14,000th player on xbox live.


So that's how my awesome nice as been. Aside from my nerd-gasming, I actually thought of something very amazing. One of the best ideas I've had in the past year. I wonder if I should post it on here... If I don't post it now, people will find out in 3 months I think.

nerd ramble and being mushymush.

So, after leaving to go run an errand in the middle of the night (which is absolutely dumb; like picking up a parent at work. hinthint.), I'm sitting down with very few things to do. I've realized that I actually have a blog, and instead of only posting on it for away messages for my special Goldfish to read, or posting on it to get an emo rant out, I decided to actually use this. Why not, right?


supnerdramble


So my week has been pretty okay, it's been pretty eventful for the good and the worse, really at about 50/50 so it's hard to say. One of the biggest highlights of my week that I'm actually going to post about (because if I post something else, I'm giving away a surprise) is that the new Counter-Strike was released. yes. want. I wish I could post an actual gameplay trailer or something of it, but all the ones that there are basically suck. Wait until October, whenever the real professionals get their hands on it and it looks a ton better.

I also found out one of my good friends lost his girlfriend today. No, she didn't die :P But she did break up with him. he's completely wrecked by this, and I really feel bad for him. I'll probably end up hanging out with him some time during this week to make sure he's okay.

Other than that, I've been doing pretty good. School started, this semester seems like it'll be a lot easier than I've made it out to be. I really need to buckle down and focus, and hopefully by the end of this semester two of three goals will be fulfilled, which I'm sure they will be. All I need to do is survive this one semester, and I think the whole "operation: reallife" will start for me. I also am finding a lot of time to go up and spend some time with my Penguin up at her school to let her know just how much I love her and to show her all the attention that I possibly can. After all, she deserves every bit of it.

'Dis the mushymush part of the blog. Our lives are much different due to one main factor; parents. Fantastic, right? Pretty dumb to read. We both go to different schools, have different hobbies, and we're basically like Romeo and Juliet. We're near forced to never communicate with one another. After I do everything that I do in my life that is absolutely mandatory (like, say, school or chores.) I look at every second in the future, and I find out which sections I'm able to cut out of my time to devote that much time to my girlfriend. I've missed opportunities to see her, but I make sure I at least talk to her in some way. I hope she reads this, which I'm sure she will, but I do this because I show her just how important she is and just how valued she is in our relationship. Contrary to what people think or believe, we're leading a very healthy relationship. Why? Cause we care for each other and we make it work. :D

I got mushy after an e-mail tonight. sue me. sue? seu? I have no idea. Soo. Soo me.

That's all i wanted to say. Pz blog, update tomorrow 8)

After phone hang up

We've talked about it, about the "perfect girlfriend", and the only thing I wish you were different about? The only thing I would ever change about you would be the appreciation for the music that I like. Metal, heavy metal, progressive, everything.

You are perfect in every way, and I'll tell you what ways with my actual voice, but I LOVE how we have HUGE differences in music. I just honestly wish we could have conversations about Metal, stuff I create with my brother, other bands, and the true artistic skills behind the music. That's the only thing I would change.

...and your parents. But that's a given.

p.s., on the way home thursday, Ash, brian and I were talking about going against a Lion in a cage for $150,000. I said "Not even for a million." And ashley turned around. "Would you fight a lion in a cage if Brittnee's parents would never hate you again?"
Before she could even finish the question, I said "Yes. Without a doubt."

it's natural

"It's natural for the bird to leave the nest."
That's a quote that was given to me from my Grandmother Martha a few years ago when I was on vacation, during my senior year. As of last night, I just remembered it, and I can't seem to remember when I've wanted to leave my house the most.

I'm so sick of this shit. I'm so sick of dealing with every goddamned bit of bullshit that I deal with on a daily basis from everybody in my life. Including Dugen. My parents are just complete jackoffs lately, and my grandmother has honestly been turning against me. It's almost like she doesn't care about me. My father has absolutely no respect for anyone or anything, and does nothing but raise my blood pressure. I haven't been home for a while, when I came back from school Monday my grandmother and father were gone until about 10:30. Tuesday I didn't come home until 8:30-ish, and then I didn't see or talk to my parents until again 10:30/11. Wednesday was a repeat of Monday, and Tuesday I finally came home. Within 20 minutes, I was so fucking angry and wanted to just knock out everyone. :| angerangeranger.

Later that night I ended up getting into an argument with my grandmother, and I've never felt so betrayed, so... unloved, so unsupported in my life. I felt like just dropping out of school and moving out and never returning to this hell hole with all the demons. It doesn't surprise me people brought up stuff about my mother, which they have absolutely no right to talk about her after all they put my poor mother through. So not only did I get an ulcer from stress, my blood pressure raised, disappointment and an overall feeling of discomfort from what my grandma said to me, but they kept near guilt tripping me about my mother. Fantastic. :|

Honestly. I'm truly a happy person under two conditions, with any other factors not even factoring in.

The first one is when I'm not at this place.. No matter what, I could be at school, I could be pulled over by a cop. If I'm not at this place, I'm completely happy. I was happy for that 4-day period without talking to either of my parents. This isn't home. This is a fucking bullshit disaster excuse of a shelter.

The second one is the most important one, I could be losing my life from a murder stabbing my back and stomach and I could still be happy under this condition. The most important one is whenever I'm with my Engagie, and she knows who she is. In fact, she (or you) are probably reading this right now. Hey there. You haven't missed much.

I've really needed an outlet of either anger or just ranting ever since yesterday, but I had nothing to do it to. I had to just ramble on here, it was my only invitation to lose the frustration. It's why my random thoughts are coming down onto here.

I'm just so fucking sick of everything. I'm now getting judged, and near punished for every little thing I do in my life right now.

I really need a hug. I really needed someone's voice today. I was so let down when I didn't get that.

mushymush. it aint even snowing outside yet.

lol. See what I did there!? I hate the mush in the winter, it gets so... bleh. But the LOVEYDOVEY mush, which is what THIS is about... ;D

So I know I was all emo in that last post and I get all dramatic and you truthfully get tired of it, I wasn't trying to sound emo and all that.  I also know it sounded clingy, I just want you to know how much you truthfully mean to me. That during your whole drive home, I stopped to think to myself, "Where would I be if I had left that parking lot at this time... going this fast, probably around that one curve..."

I'll see you Thursday. <3 That's a promise. :) I can't wait to see you.

I'm so happy this will all work out... Maybe not every day I can come see you, but close enough. ;D If I'm allowed to come with Ashley and Brian, I will definitely go. That I promise.

Got out of the shower a bit ago, I'm so freaking tired. That's one thing I'm not ready for... Going to sleep around 1, waking up so freaking early.

6:09, i says bye

6:09, i says bye
i get sad :(
clingy? yes
love you? more than you can imagine

I'm happy though. Things are going to work out for us this semester, Babe... You dont know how happy I am to realize that.

I'll still post a cutesy blog after this, but I just wanted to say how much I really love you.

away message

When you say "You don't have to respond", I'm not sure if you mean it's an auto nono.
Seriously! I just saw that article 2 days ago and was meaning to show you next time we had some free time! So unfair that you discovered it!
Bah. Whatever. On the off chance you read this, 10 AM tomorrow. Call me, Baby. :) <33

p.s., I love you and miss you... If you can still chat/email, let's! Xoxoxo

A better day.

So I woke up today still kinda sore and tired from everything, but overall I recovered a majority of the damage that I had received from the abuse at a friends house.

Today I wasn't really alive- I just walked around thinking to myself and planning. I dunno why I write this, I get absolutely no views when I do this stuff- maybe I'm doing it just to make someone happy. Give them a special update on my life when we aren't talking. :D

Sooooo sore...

It just proves I'm a lazy bum.
I wake up more sore than I've ever felt the whole summer for some odd reason, sleeping absolutely sucked I guess. Either that I just was active a lot yesterday with my Goldfish.
I loved yesterday so much. :) I hope you did, too. <3

fdkjal;

i have something i absolutely need to tell you, and the sooner i tell you the better
i shouldn't text you or contact you that way, but it may come down to that soon.

I just hope you're okay.

I'm near worrying myself sick.
I hope you're okay. I love you.
Worrying too much, aren't I?
I wish I could be there and take care of you...

Comfort.

While these past few days have been even more rough than I can actually describe and tell you, the most important thing to me, and my most important worry, is what's keeping me up at night. It's 4:30 AM. I don't want to go to bed. I can't sleep. I'm so worried. My only regret is that I can't be there to comfort you.

Baby, you're stronger than I ever have been. I know you can do this, even with that time of the week going on. I wish I could be there to comfort you and hold your hand, keep you in bed all day and help you to the bathroom if you needed it, getting your meds, drinks, yogurt, icecream, whatever it is you needed. Doing every little thing you needed done around the house, and taking care of your every wish and your every need, just so I can eventually hold you close at night in my arms as you fall asleep, knowing that you can go to sleep worry-free in the most protecting arms you've ever felt.

I love you, Brittnee, and I know you're going to make it through. It's just the last thing I really need to worry about right now.

I love you. Xoxoxo. Goodnight & Sweet Dreams...

Last night...

Last night was kinda bleh, but overall fun. Kinda. I ended up getting tons of candy from the mall, and I also ended up playing our CEVO match. We're 4-0! :D We're about to be 5-0 next week, maybe. It depends just how good this next team really is. Hopefully we stay undefeated, we've been predicted to win the whole season undefeated.

I'm just waking up and thought I'd make this little blog. Why? Cause I has an idea. Besides continuing to work on the little surprise for my wonderful, caring Girlfriend, I thought of a new thing I could work on. Something Art related. For her! Just wondering how to carry it out...

OUTRAGEOUSNESS

Besides being extremely exhausted as of late, I managed to watch the MvC3 and SSFIV:AE tournament at evo...

The most anticipated matchup for the past 11 months happened, and not only did Poongko win the match of the year, Poongko fucking BODIED AND STOMPED the BEAST. 4-0, Poongko > Daigo, even getting a PERFECT ON DAIGO! WHAT THE HELL!

It ran Daigo into losers, Daigo only getting 4th as he lost to Latif. Honestly, Daigo had Latif, but sadly he got dominated because he made 2 dumb mistakes when trying to link combos. :l

Daigo, dogg, switch back to Ryu.